Five WRONG Reasons Why People Get Married

In sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, until death do us
part...

Marriage is supposedly a life-long commitment you make with your bethroted
to love and cherish for as long as as you both shall live. Supposedly? Yes,
you read that correctly. Why supposedly? Although marriage is supposedly
based on love, people do get married for the wrong reasons. Find out five
WRONG reasons to get married.

1. AGE
When you have reached a certain age and are still single, you might find
yourself looking around and seeing most of your friends are married.
Suddenly the alarm bells go off and you start to panic. "Oh no... Why am I
still single? I better get married before I get too old." Some people may
start to feel old and thus willing to marry the first available partner
that comes along.

After reaching a certain age, some people lose their perspective on
marriage. They feel like time is against them -- a now-or-never feeling.
Either they get married now, or they will be too old for another person to
want to marry them.

2. LONELINESS
Just because you share your bed with someone, it does not mean that you
will not be lonely any longer. There are people who are alone but not
lonely. Likewise, there are people who are surrounded by other people yet
still feel lonely. When you are lonely as a single person, you will be
lonely as a married person too. When you feel lonely, look inside yourself,
what is it that is missing in your life, and then find it. Having a spouse
won't fill the emptiness inside you.

Some people do get married because they want to feel complete. Marriage
won't make you feel complete. You really need to feel complete before you
get married. As human beings, we are created as a complete human being. We
do not need someone or anything else to complete us. Remember, the vow
says, 'when two become one' -- not 'when half and half become one'.

3. TO HAVE CHILDREN
There are numerous people who get married just to have children. Children
are very special to parents. Having children brings joy to the family.
Yes... We all have heard those words many times before. But I was curious
as to why having children is so important that some people are actually
getting married just for the sake of having children. I have conducted a
small survey about what are the main reasons people want to have children.

Surprise... Surprise! The reason most people certain cultures want to have
children is because they want someone to look after them when they are old.
Well... Is that not a bit selfish? You want to bring a human being into
this already bitter and ruined world, just to take care of you when you are
old? Do you realise that by bringing a new life into this world, you have
to be responsible for bringing them up, to take care and educate them. When
you think that by having children, you will have someone to look after you
when you are old, well... you better take a good look around you. How many
elderly persons are now neglected by their children? If you are afraid of
being old and alone, rather than having children, is it not better to make
a good retirement plan?

Children also bring us another wrong reason, the whole 'my biological clock
is ticking' factor. It is true that the older you get, especially women,
the harder it is for you to conceive. But it does not mean that you should
marry the first available guy that comes along just for the sake of having
children.

4. MONEY
There is no secret that many people, both male and female, get married for
money. The reason they get married is because their spouse can provide them
with tangible things that they want. For some people, money can buy
anything. It might seem like a nice life, being pampered and having money
to buy everything that you want, but before money lures you to marriage,
you better think carefully. Can money buy happiness? I know... I know... It
sounds like such a cliche, but think about it just for a while. Money can
buy a lot of things, but are you really going to spend your life with
someone you don't even love just so you can buy things?

The person you married for their money will be the last person you see at
night and the first person you see in the morning, the moment you open your
eyes. Can you live with that? I mean, honestly. Is it worth it? Remember
that money is something, but not everything. Money can buy you a lot of
things, but it cannot buy you everything.

5. SOMEONE ELSE'S INFLUENCE
Other people can greatly influence people's decision to get married. That
someone else can be anyone -- relatives, friends or the society you live
in. Parents, especially in Asia, have a great amount of influence on their
children's marriage choices, and likewise, many people are quite keen to
nake their parents happy. When you are old enough and still single, your
parents start to make comments about you getting married. It is
understandable, as parents, they want only the best for their children. It
is better to talk and explain to them about your life. I am sure parents
everywhereprefer to have a happy single married son/daughter rather than a
married and miserable son/daughter.

Living in an eastern culture, most people still believe that marriage is a
must. Family, friends and the society you are living in tend to make
comments about a person who has reached a certain age and is not yet
married. People look and judge you as if there is something wrong with you.
Believe me, there is nothing wrong with being single, regardless of your
age. Fear of being labelled an old maid or spinster, sometimes makes people
lose their focus and get married even though it is not really what they
want.

Marriage itself is not an easy thing. It takes commitment and hard work to
make a marriage work. When you get married for the wrong reasons, it makes
it harder for your marriage to work. Would you want to be married, bt
miserable or would you rather be a happy single?

Do not let anyone or anything rush you into taking that very important step
in life. Take it easy, do not always think about getting married, but just
enjoy your single life to the fullest. When the time is right, you will
find Mr. or Miss right, get married and live happily ever after. [MS]